Tennis Weekend

Back in January, before everything happened with my mom, I went away for a weekend with a group of ladies that I'm blessed to call my friends. I've been close to Linda, Tina and Alison for years. But the others -- Christy, Lauren, Alexa and Jessica -- have become very dear to me through the process of learning tennis together the last year and a half.

We decided to go away for a weekend-long tennis clinic on the ocean. It was really fun! We rented a big house together, and there was laughter and silliness, quite a lot of eating and drinking, hours of tennis instruction, and priceless memories. 

The original plan included eight of us. But Alison had to back out at the last minute -- her daughter was unexpectedly home from Notre Dame that weekend, and they wanted to spend time together. And Christy broke her foot, but still came to hang out with us at the house, and cheer for us on the courts.

Our first morning of tennis, I realized I hadn't brought a water bottle on the trip. So I grabbed an empty tequila bottle from the night before (we'd made delicious margaritas) and filled it with water for the day. We all thought it was hilarious. Of course, the other ladies who joined us for our clinic didn't realize it was water (and naturally, we didn't tell them). The looks on their faces were priceless when we took our first break and I chugged a bunch of "tequila"!

The weather was unfortunately bitter cold -- a winter storm was sweeping the region, and some of our tennis times had to be adjusted to compensate. We bundled up with all our snivel gear every time we played, and otherwise we mostly huddled in the house. Our final day, the sun broke through the clouds after we finished up a late lunch, and we grabbed a picture in front of the water.

We've decided we have to take a tennis trip every year! Each year we'll go to a different place. Plans are already in motion for next year!

Supplies for Small Scholars

The kids have attended IB schools since kindergarten, and one of the requirements each year is to participate in community service projects. This year, however, was different for CC: 8th graders are required to come up with their own ideas, work with a faculty adviser all year on it, execute it, and create a presentation to explain the entire process.

CC really wanted to do something that involved children, since she loves kids so much. She found a local nature-based preschool that caters to low-income families with special-needs children. The director of the preschool is a physical therapist, and she has a rotation of interns from colleges around the state who work with her. 

Despite CC's shyness, she reached out to the director, introduced herself, and explained that she'd like to do a project that benefitted the preschool. The director provided her with a list of supplies that the preschool could really use, and CC decided to have a drive to collect them all.

CC created a flyer that she handed out around the neighborhood, explaining her project and listing the specific supplies that the preschool needed. We were so impressed by the outpouring of generosity from our neighborhood! Supplies were left on our porch daily for several weeks. We even had to detour on our way to deliver the goods, in order to pick up a last-minute delivery from a neighbor.

The preschool director was so impressed! She was very grateful for the supplies, and she insisted on giving us a tour of the preschool. CC got to see all the farm animals (llamas, chickens, goats, dogs) and meet the children. It was so rewarding to see CC's hard work benefit the preschool in person!

Several weeks later, CC presented "Supplies for Small Scholars" at the 8th grade showcase. It was really impressive to walk around the school and see all the different projects that were completed by the 8th grade class!

Weekend with Family

I took the kids to visit my dad last weekend, not just because it's great to spend time with him, but also because Susan was visiting with Dane and Hayden during their spring break. Fun!

Dane had a ninja competition on Saturday (he took first place!), so he and Susan were gone for several hours. Pepere and I took the other 4 kids and went to a fun spot not too far away -- an abandoned NASCAR track from the 50's. It's been well-maintained, and you can walk around the track, see original posters and advertisements, climb up into the press box, and even inspect a few abandoned cars.

It was a really nice way to spend a beautiful afternoon. The weather was perfect, and everyone was in good moods as we stretched our legs and enjoyed the atmosphere.

Afterwards the kids were thrilled to stop by Pepere's favorite place -- a local dairy farm that serves homemade ice cream. They've recently added a cool playground that looks like a giant rising up from the ground!

The rest of the weekend was nice. Susan and I helped my dad organize and purge the linen closet, and the kids played hide 'n seek outside for hours. We went to Mass together, watched basketball, chatted, and enjoyed more treats. A pretty sweet weekend.

Movie Party

CC is about to turn 14 (!!) and -- as she tells me -- she's too grown-up for a birthday party. So in lieu of a traditional birthday party, she chose to take some friends to opening night of the new Snow White movie. It had to be opening night. And they had to sit in a very specific row in the theater. But fortunately all her dreams came true, as we went to the theater in person several weeks early to purchase exactly what she wanted. 

I think it's sweet that a 14-year-old still prioritizes a Disney princess movie. She had a great time with her friends, and they all really loved the movie (and the snacks).

Happy early birthday, CC! More festivities to come ...

Disney

For the last year, CC and I had been planning a trip to DisneyWorld, and it was scheduled for the weekend after my mom died. At first I thought we would have to cancel the trip, but my dad and I discussed it and decided to try to make it work. It couldn't be postponed -- CC's best friend, Clara, who we were going with, was scheduled for major back surgery the following week, and wouldn't be able to go on amusement park rides for a year. And although the last thing I felt like doing was going to "the happiest place on earth" after my mom just died, I didn't want CC to lose her beloved Memere and this trip. And I also didn't want Clara to miss the trip she'd been looking forward to as well, her "last hurrah" before her surgery.

Amazingly, Linda offered to fill in for me on the Disney trip until I could arrive. And honestly, she's really the only one who could have gone in my place: CC is comfortable with her, and Alison (Clara's mom) is also friends with her. So after spending several days with my dad, making arrangements and helping settle my mom's affairs, I flew down to join them, and Linda flew home.

In many ways, it was a good distraction. I smiled through my tears and did a pretty decent job of staying in the moment. It was nice to see CC having fun -- she and Clara are really sweet friends. 

It was shockingly cold! But we bundled up and maximized our time. CC and Clara took the lead, navigating us through each park and managing our fast passes. Our all-time favorite ride was Tron, which we rode twice (despite 2-hour lines -- worth it!). They loved the Star Wars area at Hollywood Studios, and we rode Smuggler's Run twice. Other favorite rides were Soarin, the Rockin' Roller Coaster, and Space Mountain. The girls also went on (and loved) Tower of Terror twice, but Alison and I skipped that -- not our cup of tea.

CC's only specific request for the trip was that we eat at Cinderella's Royal Table, the restaurant inside the castle at Magic Kingdom. We did that on our final night, and it was magical. CC was surprisingly excited to see all the princesses, and the food was delicious. But the best part was when we left -- the fireworks show had started, so we weren't allowed to leave the castle. An employee fetched a bench, and we had a beautiful, private view of the fireworks from inside the castle. Not too many people get to experience that! It was a wonderful way to end our trip, and a special memory to end our bittersweet trip.

Happy St Paddy's Day!

The kids were more than happy to don green this morning, some more than others.

May the road rise up to meet you;

May the wind be always at your back;

May the sun shine warm upon your face, 

The rains fall soft upon your fields,

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand

Until We Meet Again

It took me more than a month to start this post, and I've had to come back to it multiple times to finish. It's still so hard for me to wrap my brain around this new reality.

On January 20th, we were down in Atlanta to watch the National Championship game: Notre Dame vs Ohio State. We were so excited! And even better, Memere and Pepere were there, plus Uncle Jon and Dane. 

The night before, we'd gone to the pep rally to watch the band play and see the festivities. My parents met us there and we were all smiles. It was crowded, so we didn't stay long -- we knew we'd be at the game together the next day. We hugged good bye and said we loved each other. That was the last time I talked to my mom.

The next day, while getting ready for the game in their hotel room, my mom suffered an aortic dissection and collapsed to the floor, unresponsive. My dad called 911 and rushed her to the hospital. He called me and Jon, and we called Patrick.

Together, we made the awful, agonizing, terrible decision not to pursue extreme measures to keep my mom alive. It was such a gut-wrenching thing to consider, and even worse to say out loud. But we knew it wouldn't be what my mom wanted, and there was little chance she would survive even if the doctors tried everything.

Jon and I raced to the hospital in an Uber. Thank God for MJ -- he stayed with the kids. Patrick started driving to Atlanta, and we all prayed he'd arrive in time.

He did. For several hours that night, we were all together one last time. My mom was comfortable and lay quietly in her hospital bed while we sat with her and took turns holding her hands. A priest visited the room to pray with us and give a special blessing to my mom.

I whispered in her ear, telling her how much I loved her, how I wasn't ready to say good-bye to her. I prayed the rosary with her, the beads intertwined between our fingers. And I told her that I'm the person I am -- and the mother I am -- because of her. 

I'm so glad we're the type of family to not leave anything left unsaid. We've always been very open about saying "I love you." So she knew how much we all loved her, and we knew how much she loved us. That was such a blessing to me in that hospital room: knowing that I'd told her what a wonderful mother she was, that we'd spent so much special time together, shared so much and had so many wonderful memories. There are no regrets.

Eventually the hospice staff removed the breathing tube. My mom looked so peaceful. We hugged each other in a tight circle around her as the beeping of the machines slowed and then stopped. It was so surreal, and it felt really wrong to leave. We all drove back to our respective hotels. It was after 2am, but kids were waiting up for me, and I had to tell them that their Memere was gone. I lay in the hotel bed and sobbed while MJ held me tightly. 

How can she be gone?? She was so alive and such an important part of my life. How can it be that I'll never speak to her again?

The next morning I drove back to our house with my dad, while MJ drove the kids in our car. From there my dad and I drove to his house, and I stayed for a few days. We took care of some awful but necessary things, like informing all her friends, picking out her gravesite, and making all the arrangements with the funeral home. Jon and Patrick each came to visit and spend time with my dad, too.

The funeral was three weeks later. I was touched by the outpouring of support our family received from all the various communities my mom belonged to: church, neighborhood, book club, friends. Kris, Carol, Linda and Tina all came, and I am so grateful. And through it all, MJ held everything together at home for almost a month while I was completely out of commission, either out of town or sick in bed with flu and a bad eye infection. I am so thankful to have him.

And now we all have to adjust to our world without her. I know without a doubt that she went straight to heaven, and that I'll see her again someday. But right now it's really, really hard.